I’m not feelin’ it right now. I had one back-up post, and I’ve used it. The post I tried to write last night is crap, and shouldn’t be posted. I can’t think.
Here’s the deal. I found out Saturday morning that my closest colleague (my co-teacher) died. I am sad, and my head is spinning with the whole concept of returning to work on Thursday and him not being there. I ask myself how I will process it with the students. I’m dealing with my principal telling me details I wish I didn’t know about his death and somehow being in the position of being a contact person for others in this regard.
I remember that I have a blog, and that I want to make money as a writer, but I don’t care all that much at the moment. Writing articles about ways to increase online popularity right now just seems frivolous beyond belief.
Of course, I realize that it’s not really frivolous. It just feels that way to me. Which is where the question comes in–how far am I willing to take things with this blogging thing?
If I was working at say, Glamour magazine, and I had to write an article about the trendiest eyeshadows or else, you bet I’d be doing it. But without a boss cracking a whip over my head at times like this, I’m just not motivated.
How do the rest of you deal with your own business endeavors when the stuff in your head or your life becomes overwhelming? Are you able to compartmentalize? Do you take days off? How do you manage?
I take sundays off on a couple of blogs..but with 10 of them…i just don’t have time to take it off…i just run with it…and hope it doesn’t come out convoluted.
Take time out and evaluate the situation. Thats the best way
When my grandfather died a few weeks ago, I took some time off from work and the blog.
Sorry to hear about your friend.
So sorry to hear your tragic news!
Sometimes real life is more important than blogging - and most readers understand.
I’ve seen some of the big name bloggers line up guest bloggers, cut back their posts to short and link-driven, simply announce and go on a blog break, or blog about what they’re going through as a part of being transparent (and therapeutic).
I’d be happy to write a guest blog for you, although I’m afraid no one else can straddle the trashy/brilliant/hilarious divide as well as you (and that’s no small offer given how swamped I usually am).
I wish you the best as you go through this situation!
I’m really sorry to hear about your colleague and friend. Your blog will survive without you for however long you need to take off. It’s not worth writing for it when you can’t write anything decent because your mind’s not on it.
Take some time out and come back refreshed. It might only be a few days, it might be a week.
I get on my laptop, open up Word, and just start free-writing. It’s my way of getting all the “yuck” out. Sometimes you see lines and lines of “this is stupid….i don’t know what the hell to write…i can’t believe i think this is helpful because i feel so ridiculous just writing crap like this,” but if I keep at it, whatever is REALLY bugging me makes its way out of me and I usually end up with something I can at least use pieces of.
Other times, I try to get outside of myself and treat myself like a best friend who is going through it and talk her (me) through it by asking probing questions. Sometimes it works, sometimes I feel even more ridiculous than I do free-writing.
Only you know when to push through something or take a break from it all. I’m a firm believer in the idea that we all already have the answers we need, we just need to tune in to ourselves to get them…then APPLY them.
Another thing I try sometimes is to “fast forward” in my head through whatever it is to a time when I can look back at what I’m going through now and ask myself what I’d like to be able to say I did in the situation. Kinda get the benefit of hindsight being 20/20, ya know?
All else fails, have a stiff drink, a good cry and a long sleep.
I advise you to take some time off for YOU. Consider spending some quality time with your friends as well. And get out of the house; do something fun. This will not only lift your spirits, it may also help energize you and get the creative juices flowing. Whatever you do know this: your loyal fans (like me) will be there when you return.
Writing articles about ways to increase online popularity is frivolous. Just as blogging is frivolous. Really. That doesn’t make either one wrong or bad. It just means that when life sucker punches you, you become acutely aware of what really does matter. Things like life and death. And kids coming into the classroom in a couple of weeks having to deal with the loss of one of their teachers.
I hope you give yourself some time to process your loss. Trust that your readers here for the long haul with you, and don’t worry about posting right now.
If you feel compelled to have something up each day, another thought (along with guest posts) would be to take some of your treasures out of the archives and dust them off.
My thoughts are with you.
take a breather. thru’ your posts, i know you’re one lady who can take everything in your stride. your creativity, your sense of humor and as a wonderful mum, i’m sure you shall overcome!
I’m so sorry for your loss.
As for your question, I would be better off keeping up with my blog under pressure. Writing has kept me from imploding more than once in my life, even if only taking it out on my journal.
Your blog is about money and popularity on the web, so it is a harder fit, but remember there are millions of blogs on that topic, but your readers keep coming back to you. If you need to write about your life, go for it.
On the other hand, if you need to be away for a while, you’ll be in our thoughts and prayers, and we will await your return.
I agree with those above recommending that you take time for yourself. Also, don’t forget about everyone else in your life, such as other co-workers with whom you share memories of your dear friend.
Whenever I face such a situation, I drink a lot and stop answering the phone. Perhaps I am not the best role model.
Maybe you should have a guest blogger? I’m always available and I work for links.
That’s horrible, and I’m sorry to hear it.
I haven’t experienced a death but have been grappling with massive work and life changes recently. I find blogging helps distract me for a while, because I don’t really mention them in my blog. It helps center me a bit.
I’m sorry, under circumstances like this, I just drop everything and wallow.
Sorry to hear that and my thoughts are with you.
I went into hospital about 18 months ago, and the best thing is just to forget about this blog for the time being. Money is not important, and blogging - to me - is a hobby, not a business endevour, so I can’t really comment.
What I will say, in your situation is just to look after yourself. You will come back, and you will get inspiration, but get your head sorted first
This isn’t much help for the current situation but I do think it’s a good idea to have 5 - 10 posts in reserve for when life gets in the way of blogging, and I do think it will happen to all of us at some point.
Perhaps on a day when you think of several things to blog, just publish one, and keep the others aside. Then you need only log on for a few minutes, hit publish, and be done with it.
Michelle, with family, work, the Army, and other responsibilities, there are PLENTY of times when I don’t feel like writing a post. Whenever I have a couple of spare hours on a weekend, I always use it to write a post and timestamp it for later in the week. That opens up a huge amount of time.
I usually have a couple of back ups waiting in the wings and a few half-written articles that are easy enough to finish up. Otherwise, I just take a day or two to think and deal and then get back to writing. We´ll understand if you need a break.
Michelle, I’m really sorry to hear about your friend’s death. I hope that you have plenty of support to help you through. As a teacher, I’ve experienced the loss of students and student family members, but never a colleague. It all puts you in an unusual position as an educator. Good luck.
I would take the time you need to put things into perspective - the reality is that your blog will be there when you get back. You’re such a charming writer . . . I don’t think that you’ll have any problems getting your readers back. I spent last weekend in the hospital and then the first couple days of the week laid up. In the back of my mind, I really wanted to do something with my blog, but I really couldn’t. Stats and such dropped a bit, but nothing drastic. Take care of yourself - that should really be your top priority.
I’m so sorry for your loss. While I’ve been fortunate enough not to have major tragedy strike during my tenure as a blogger, because it’s not my full-time job sometimes life gets in the way. And it sucks.
Honestly, what I do when life gets too overwhelming is I do exactly what you just did. I get on my blog and do a very honest, off-topic post (I always put those under the tag Navel-Gazing). Last week is a good example. My WP database crashed, AND my biggest project of the year was due at end of business AND I got linked at BoingBoing and on a post that was very high on Digg. I just about had a nervous breakdown.
But I sat down and wrote a post saying, ok, the SQL database is flurpy, we think we got it fixed, I’m going to be super busy, please don’t hate me for light posting for a while. And I did my best not to stress.
I did have a benefit that you don’t, however - a writing team. They swooped in and restored the posts that were deleted during the database restoration, and managed to put a few posts up while I was gone a while. Having them to fall back on during times of crisis was very handy. Maybe you could make friends and bring in a guest blogger for a few days. That would take some pressure off.
I totally understand where you’re coming on with perspective, though. Friday was a real challenge. On the one hand, I kept telling myself, It’s just one day, it’s just one day, the blog will go on if I don’t post for just one day. On the other hand, I was like, screw the blog, if I don’t get this project done, I’m going to get fired and *then* what am I going to do? Having this huge deadline looming over me made my blog seem awfully pitiful and insignificant.
So, backup posts are nice. Another trick I have is when I’m not in the mood to blog but I want something on the site, I grab a video and slap it up. It entertains and keeps me from having to think too hard. Here’s another idea - pose a question and let the comments be the new input. This turned out to be a question post, and look how much feedback it’s gotten.
michelle,
i’m really sorry to hear about your colleague. I can’t imagine how you will cope and stay strong for the students - but you know what?, you will find the strength somewhere.
Maybe what happened is putting things into perspective for you - and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
How do I cope when I’m overwhelmed? - I panic, I tuck back into myself, I eat all the stuff that’s bad for me, I go on a bit of a downer - then I re-appear, ready for the world again.
hugs to you, m’lady… hugs, hugs, hugs…
…if you need time out, take it - I’ll be here when you get back. You before us.
Sounds to me like you just did the best thing you could have done. You wrote a good article about priorities and put forth the question to your readers, “When is online popularity frivolous?” Your readers have responded.
In my short experience with blog reading, I have discovered a community. There are a number of comments from your readers that would make great blog entries while you take some time to regroup.
The most popular blogs that I know of are popular because the readers can sense the personality behind the blog. Readers can connect with you now on an emotional level because death/loss is a common bond. Your faithful readers will stick with you to see how you weather this storm and soon, before you know it, you will again be writing about men’s underwear and fairytale blogging stories.
Best wishes to you during this difficult time. Best wishes to your students. They are clearly in good hands.
Sorry to hear about your loss Michelle.
Immediate solution: take a mini vacation from blogging.
Long term solution: find a blogging buddy. Someone who can nudge you when you are goofing off. Who can keep you on track. And who you can help keep on track.
That’s terrible news. (#):(
Just get yourself better. Until you can, most everything will probably suffer. Or use your blog to heal you by talking about things - It can be very therapeutic.
I’m really sorry to hear about your friend. Something like that can throw you way, way off and make you reevaluate life.
They say that you have to post consistently to keep the people and search engines coming, but if you write quality content like you do, people aren’t going to forget you in a week or two. You’re in my RSS reader, so I’ll get your next post when you’re ready to put it out.
If you need time, take it. The online world will be here when you get back.
First…sorry for your loss! And in answer to your question, take time off. One needs the time to grieve, to process and to heal. As I’ve written most recently in my post about building abs, it’s important to give ourselves/our bodies/our spirits time to mend.
First, you have to acknowledge that it’s OK to take time off. When you work at something that’s always available, like the internet, we so often forget how much time we spend on it!
Take a day, and turn your computer OFF… this is to keep you from unconsciously slipping in “just to check my email for a sec”. And then go OUT. Do something for yourself, go to a national park or an exhibit or someplace you wouldn’t ordinarily go. Eat some ice cream.
I tend to stay away from people on days like this… when I’m feeling overwhelmed, it’s often because I feel like other people WANT something, so getting away from them really helps me recharge.
Hope you’re feeling yourself soon, but how you’re feeling now really is okay too.. don’t fight it, just give yourself a break!
Jayne
Hadn’t thought about it formally. However, I recently went through a move due to marital separation and I cut back to a post a week.
Sometimes life takes priority over work. If one of your co-workers died at a magazine and you were that close you could take a couple days leave. Give yourself at least that.
In Spirit,
Nneka
It’s good to have a big backup of reserve articles. If you don’t and you have to take time off, oh well the world won’t end.
My first Ebay SECRET NICHE is revealed at
http://www.DayJobNuker.com
[...] week, Michelle wrote learned that one of her colleagues recently passed away. She writes a popular blog on blogging and was wondering if she should take some time away or [...]