I’ve given you the upside of country living. Now for the reason some of those houses are sooo cheap.
1. Everybody knows your name. This is good until Uncle Jeb gets arrested for shooting the neighbor’s pit bulls. Then your family is the talk of the town.
2. Gangs are here too. The only difference is, in a small town, they are inescapable. No barricading yourself in a nice neighborhood. The town is the neighborhood.
3. If you challenge the police, they will mess with you. Maintaining a good citizen facade, at the least, is crucial. Unless you like lots of speeding tickets, of course.
4. The quaint country road adorned with honeysuckle features a meth lab. They are all over the place around here. You never know if someone is a meth user or simply has a horrific case of acne.
5. There are a lot of dogs, and they bite. Leash laws are not enforced. Uncle Jeb had the right idea.
6. People use chewing tobacco. And spit brown juice in public.
7. If you don’t like the schools, tough luck. In a small town, there is one school district. There is usually not a wide selection of private schools. School offices often feature a huge paddle with holes in it, which represents the disciplinary philosophy.
8. Restaurant fare is limited. Forget about fresh oysters, Vietnamese food and wonderful Indian buffets. Every small town has a Dairy Queen. Learn to love it.
9. You can’t buy beer, wine or any other alcoholic beverage on Sundays. This is an improvement. According to the old “blue laws”, it used to be illegal to buy pantyhose. So plan ahead for that game!
10. There are things that bite. My brother’s house is in the city limits, and yet there has been a cougar sighting in his yard. Two bobcats come by regularly. There are racoons, deer and possum. This can be an advantage, depending on how you view wildlife. On the other hand, it is nice to send the kid out to play with out worrying that he’ll become a big kitty snack. The land I own in Taos has scarier issues–brown bear.
So there you have it. 10 off-the-top-of-my-head reasons why country life isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. Oh yeah, number 11. Crack and crackheads. They’re here too.
Fun article. I grew up “small town” when I was young, but I’ve now lived in the city in Seattle for years… I’ve almost forgotten what small town living was like!
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I too live in a small town but there is a massive twist. It’s in rural Ireland. My wife is Irish and I am an American. We moved here over 3 years ago from Honolulu of all places. I was inspired by your list I did my own but with things unique to country living in Ireland.
http://www.theispysite.com/2007/12/11/i-spythe-downside-of-country-living-in-ireland/
Thanks for sharing.
I live in a small town as well. Madisonville, Kentucky is about 20,000 people but still very small townish. People here are very close. If you are an outsider you just are never really accepted. My family has been here for almost 30 years and still it seems like we are outsiders.
I know what you mean about everyone knowing your business. Everyone wonders what I do for a living. They say there goes that Internet dude. I have even heard one or two say that I make porn sites…..hahaha that is too funny.
Small town America - it has its advantages and disadvantages. Fortunately I can be in the city in about 2 hours.
Woo Hoo………Where is my bug lamp and pork rinds…….
[...] I Spy Site Christian wrote a great alternative to my 10 Crummy Things About Country Living. He’s in Ireland, so it’s definitely a different [...]