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Last week, we had a meeting at work, and someone suggested that our school needed to have more parental involvement. You could see eyes rolling all around the table. You see, we have parental involvement, it’s just not the kind that we’d like to have. The type of parental involvement that I most frequently experience is a woman wearing a long t-shirt and slippers getting in my face because I wouldn’t let her child into our disciplinary alternative school with his pants hanging down to his knees. Other staff members share similar experiences. Here are a few of mine–I know that you guys wouldn’t do any of these things, right? Right???
Example 1:
Yesterday I had a phone conversation with the college-educated mother of 15 year-old budding sociopath. He has a father at home too, in case anyone is wondering. Here is a highlight from the conversation:
Parent: “Well, I really don’t want his 18 year-old girlfriend picking him up from school, but he argues with me about it so much that I give in once a week. I figure that way he won’t pester me so much. I really wish that you would tell him that your school won’t allow his girlfriend to pick him up. It would make things a lot easier.”
Me: “Okay, I’ll be the bad guy if that helps. I’ll let him know today.”
Of course, you can imagine who the kid is really angry at right now, and it’s not mom. Mom and dad play the “good guy” role. They may be scared of him, actually. He’s a pretty intimidating kid. The thing is, would he be so intimidating if mom hadn’t allowed him to bully her into letting him have his own way for years? Possibly not.
Example 2:
I had another student whose parent never knew where he was–for days. The only time this parent showed concern was when he was about to be expelled. You see, if he didn’t attend school, she wouldn’t receive his disability check. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, it is possible for nonworking parents of kids with disabilities like ADD to get checks from the government, at least here in Texas. There are a lot of requests for special education testing…
Example 3:
Our rules state that students cannot wear grills to school. One of my students asked me numerous times what would happen if the grill was permanent. I told him to ask the principal, because I thought that he would not be able to attend school unless it was removed. He went and did it anyway. Sure enough, the principal told him that he had to have it removed.
The kid’s parents, who had paid for the damn thing, were immediately right up in the principal’s office complaining about how much it was going to cost them to go and have it removed. It was all the school’s fault, you see.
In spite of these things, I have signed a contract for another year. But forget about the whole parental involvement thing. I like the kids much better.
Hi Michelle. I used to work part-time in a school library, and I remember we were always glorified babysitters. The parents of some kids wouldn’t come and pick them up from the library til closing time at 6pm. It really got on my nerves.
We are not there to be parents or babysitters, but I find parents often take advantage and some schools don’t speak up or stand their ground. I’m glad the school you work at seem to be holding theirs.
But, yes, focusing on the kids (which is what it’s really about) helps.
All the best in your additional year.
take care now…
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I’ve never heard of a “grill”, other than on a car or something you barbecue hamburgers with. Is that one in the picture? Did he do that on purpose or was there a bad accident of some sort?
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I’m wondering, if you have grills, wouldn’t it be hard to eat?
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I don’t work in the education profession, but I see parents ignoring their children all day.
I work in a diagnostic facility. Women bring their kids with knowing we can’t let them go into the room while mommy is having a mammogram or some other exam. Meanwhile, they get upset when we don’t want to babysit their adorable children who are jumping up and down on the furniture and screaming at the top of their lungs.
I remember one particular day, when a woman was too busy talking on her cell phone to pay attention to her kid. The child was running in circle around the waiting room singing at the top of his lungs. One of the other patients made a comment to the mother and her response was that they were getting a free show.
The majority of people who come into our center are sick, they aren’t there for routine work ups. They are there because their doctors are trying to find out what is wrong with them.
Then they have to come in there and deal with crap like this. I feel so bad, but we aren’t allowed to say anything to the parents because “customers are always right”.
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Sometimes you just have to step back and laugh. It’s a strange world out there. The Darwin awards will never have a lack of participants.
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I taught high school for three long, hard years. All I can say is that you’re a “stronger man” than I am….
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I see your first example all the time and I just don’t understand it. I saw a parent lie to a toddler about the grocery store being sold out of cookies. A funny and kind of creative way to avoid saying no to the kid, but that parent would have been better off to just say no to the demand and stick to it.
I’ve just never had that much difficulty laying down the law when I need to… and my children know better than to ask me more than twice just because they don’t like the answer. Hopefully I’ve established that before so that the 15 year old isn’t dating an 18 year old (never mind who picks him up from school)!
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Guess your school is “hatin’” on all of those obviously grill-deserving children.
What tragedy! (eyeroll smiley goes here)
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I homeschool my two younger ones (9 & 12) but my 15 year old is in school and I have the EXACT opposite problem. I WANT my son to be held accountable for his actions when he’s at school but it never happens.
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NO, I’m not one of those parents.
But I wouldn’t be you either, LOL (working at a school). I can’t stand 99.9% of people under 18. I don’t blame them, though. I blame their “parents”.
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More parental involvement? Hmmmm…. Aren’t the parents the reason the kids have problems in the first place. Maybe less parental involvement is the answer at a school like yours.
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Sadly, it’s this kind of thing that’s kept me from finishing my secondary ed degree. I am just not sure if I could keep from hitting one of the parents. Have you tried cattle prods?
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