Photo by Happy Dave
I’ve been told that making decisions is best done when one is in a rational state of mind. Strangely, I responded to this piece of advice with this thought–”Wow, that’s an interesting way to look at it!” Looking back, I realize that many of my decisions have been based on pure emotion. I use up my logic quota figuring out
which brand of milk will save me the most money, I suppose.
How do you know if you are making decisions based on reason or emotion? Well, try asking yourself these questions:
- Do you decide to work at Company B instead of Company A because their lobby is really cool and the receptionist is hot?
After seeing a house that reminds you of your old childhood home, do you decide it is “meant to be” and immediately make an offer? Without checking for termites?
Do you decide to date someone based on the fact that you both grew up in homes that were painted green? It is clearly meant to be!
Have you ever quit a job because your boss didn’t say hello to you one morning and you decided that she didn’t like you, and that you were probably going to get fired because of that, so you might as well beat her to the punch?
Have you ever bought a car because the color was cool, it was the last one like it on the lot and you were hoping the salesperson would ask you out?
These are extreme examples, but I can guarantee you that someone has made a decision in each of these scenarios. Probably even the mutual green houses one.
My most recent example of emotional decision making is making an offer on a house here in Nowhere, Texas. As some of you know, Nowhere, Texas is not my favorite location in the world. Still, I have a decent job, and some valid reasons for being here. At any rate, upon seeing the house, I immediately slipped into (a very emotional) fantasyland.
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The Thought: “After I get this house,” I’ll have parties and we can watch the fireworks from the porch.”
Reality Check: Fireworks happen twice a year. It will be a very small party, because I have about two friends here.
The Thought: “This house has been redone by someone who is also from Austin. It is the only house like this in all of Nowhere, Texas. It is meant to be.”
Reality Check: I think the house looks cool because it looks like a house in Austin. I like Austin. Nowhere, Texas is NOT Austin.
The Thought: “Having a house here will help me integrate more fully into the community. I will have a greater investment in making contacts here.”
Reality Check: This will be true if I am willing to undergo a complete personality transplant. I will have to attend a Baptist church, wear designer clothes and behave hypocritically at least 90 percent of the time if I want to fit in. Alternatively, I could go to work at the chicken plant. The people who work there are pretty down to earth.
This is nothing new in my life. If I buy the house, I will look at it as an investment, much like I now view men–with detachment, which is not nearly as fun as emotionally immersing myself in relationships because someone has a sexy curl to their lip.
So…emotions are fun, but result in drama and bad choices. Logic is not fun, and results in boredom and good solid choices. Is there some sort of happy medium here?
Sorry for the rambling, but I think I have just done my therapy for the week. I don’t watch Oprah, so I have to figure these things out for myself. 
You can still make decisions based on emotions if the two options are about equally good. When they are equally good in reality, then how it feels just give you a better anecdote to tell later.
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Coincidentally I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the whole heart over head/ head over heart thing recently. I may even blog about it later. Anyway, I think I’ve come to the conclusion that you can find some kind of balance but maybe sometimes you have to do the opposite of what you’d normally do in order to find that balance. I guess I kind of want to believe that emotions and reality don’t have to be opposites!
Kamsin’s last blog post..Why am I here? (No, this post isn’t nearly as profound as that title suggests!)
I am one of those people cursed with logic AND emotion to the degree that I can’t make the decision at all! My two minds are constantly bickering. People see me talking to myself and think I’m a delusional schizophrenic (but, I’m not–at least I don’t THINK I am).
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Ok,let’s pretend i’m Dr. Phil only much more handsome, intelligient and instead of suits i wear guayaberra’s to work.
Ok, see the picture,
now see me lean over with his menacing look and say to you…
How’w that workin for you…this detachment to real estate and men?
You can stop dropping the ball either by not having one but how you going to make the basket without it?
You should buy a house on emotion but you pay for it with your brains.
It’s the only way to keep yourself from living like a breathing sarcarphaus
Ok, sorry back to being an absolutely clueless male
I just went looking for a quote that goes something like this: “Logic is only used to rationalize our emotions.” But couldn’t find it.
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I try to say to myself, will I be using this in six months? Usually, I say no and don’t get it.
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Stephen: You may be thinking of David Hume’s idea that the only function of reason is to get us what we desire; the full quote goes “Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office than to serve and obey them.”
Michelle: There is a middle ground, but it’s sometimes hard to see it. We can’t live our lives like automatons, and we can’t run around whim to whim. The good examples are when what we want and want we know is good for us correspond.
My last post talks (briefly) about the different aspects of human nature and how you kind of have to do well in all of them to flourish. You may find it interesting or helpful.
Charlie Gilkey’s last blog post..Aristotle: The First Great Life Coach
I am a bit late responding. We are selling the house. It is an emotional decision and now we work hard to make it happen.
However for what it is worth; the heart is the intelligent one and the mind is its servant.
So there Michelle, you trust your heart, it knows what it is doing.
Wilma’s last blog post..Overwhelm? Nasty but it can be dealt with, says Rusty our cat.
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