Just Another Writer

Photo by N!(K — loveforphotography –

My students have no problem telling me who they hate. These people are usually adults, often in a position of power. Why the animosity? Here’s what I’ve figured out, based on the commentary. If you would like to join the list, follow the steps listed below.

1. Tell them that they need to have a better attitude. After all, you always have a great attitude, and never ever complain, right?

2. Emphasize that you understand them, because you were young once too. Be sure and tell them they’ll “get over it”, when they confide in your about a problem. Completely ignore that things were indeed different when you were in high school.

3. Tell them what to do. Don’t offer any choices. Even if you have to have the lawn mowed on Saturday, don’t let them decide if they’ll complete the job at 6 am or 9 am.

4. Tell them they’re too young to have a girlfriend or boyfriend. Alternatively, you could ask them how their “little” boyfriend is doing, or if they have one yet. Speculating on who would make a good girlfriend or boyfriend also is good.

5. Act like you know everything. Forget that teenagers do have some acquired knowledge, and that they, like other people, like to be acknowledged for their intelligence. For good measure, say, “At your age, I thought I knew everything too.”

6. Tell them, “You have to earn my respect”. This teaches this lesson that human beings, on the whole, are not worthy of respect unless they do something for you. Since respect is very important to teens, this will help you reach your goal immediately.

7. Make sure that they know they are untrustworthy. They’re teens, so they’re bound to screw up, right? Make sure they know this by not giving them any responsibility for anything that counts. Assume, out loud, that any time a crime happens in your town, it must have been “one of those crazy teens”.

There you go. If you want teenagers to run away screaming when they see you coming, you know what to do! If you are a teacher and are doing these things, this is my public plea to please quit.