My teaching job in our local alternative school is never boring. Today, an officer stopped by and gave us a heads-up on the latest gang activity in town. He mentioned that an individual by the name of Alejandro Z. is the head of operations for our local chapter of the Latin Kings. A light bulb went off in my head and then exploded. Turns out that this individual is the older brother of a kid that I was tutoring at home last year. I have spent many an afternoon talking to him, checking out his tats, and attempting to talk him out of going to Iraq. Although I knew he was involved in the gang, I had no idea he was the gang.
This bit of news got me thinking about gang members and business. Like any successful organization, they have things that work, and many of them don’t even involve violence.
1. Show respect to your colleagues and the individuals you do business with.
Respect will get you everywhere, while disrespect gets you a shank. You, on the other hand, have little to fear besides a pink slip, and of course, the malice of your colleagues, who are more likely to exact their revenge by not inviting you to happy hour. The respect of your colleagues shouldn’t be underestimated, since they can be your future bosses, employees, references or contacts. It pays to keep those around you happy, and showing respect has a way of ensuring that.
2. You gotta represent.
Whatever your business is, you’re always representing it, so if you value it, you’ll represent it in a favorable way. You don’t have to have tats, bandannas, and notches in your eyebrow, though. You can represent your business by having well-designed business cards without coffee stains, wearing real shoes instead of flip-flops, and talking positively about your work. For starters.
3. Cultivate the ability to pick up on small nuances.
That hand signal pointing down? You’re being dissed in front of your crew. The guy in front of you with his right shirt sleeve pushed up? He’s telling you who he’s affiliated with. If middle school kids can figure this stuff out to get through their day relatively unscathed, surely we can figure out the mores that apply to our business culture. The boss stands up when you’re talking to her? Time to say bye and leave her office. Your coworker keeps glancing at her computer while you blather on about the substandard service at your favorite Italian restaurant last night? Leave her alone and get to work. Figuring out the little things will take you a long way.
4. Develop a high level of organization.
If gangs can get the meth from Cali to Houston with minimal incarcerations, then surely you, with your MBA, can figure out how to get the warehouse to ship the product by Tuesday. Keep your contact list current and keep the merch moving.
5. Pay your bills on time.
I think more of us would do this if we had to worry about the annoying possibility of being shot because we forgot to pay the meth bill in a timely manner last month. Don’t wait till they come bustin’ down your door, keep current and keep your credit. Financial credibility may not make you rich, but chances are, you won’t get rich without it. Even if you’re in the cocaine biz.
6. Be the OG. (Original Gangster)
The OG is the expert in his niche, be it Latin Kings, Gangster Disciples or Southside 13. He keeps it all together, and is the “go to” person. You should strive to become the same in your field. Leverage your experience and make yourself valuable. For me, that means being certified in Special Education, speaking Spanish, and willingly training others. Can the school district replace me? Yes, but not easily.
7. Take advantage of free training in your area.
The Iraqi war has provided a unique opportunity for gang members, who are now signing up for the Army and learning war tactics that they bring back home to teach their homies. They even get paid to train! The rest of may not get paid, but we can take advantage of our company’s education and training budgets to attend as many worthy workshops and classes as possible. Getting extra certifications in your field never hurts either.
8. Offer something that is difficult for people to obtain.
While you may not choose to traffic in heroin, it is to your advantage to find something that you can offer that very few others can. I’ve already mentioned that I speak Spanish, which would not be a big deal except for the fact that my entire district only employs about five other Spanish speakers. Being the only bilingual person at my school is an excellent position to be in. Perhaps you are the only person who knows a specific programming language, or who can fix the copier. Maybe you’ve researched the market, and you are the only person offering counseling for household pets who dislike one another. The best way to become successful is to have that special something, as long as other people want it.
9. Brand yourself.
Got the Eastside crack market cornered? If you’re a gang member, you’ll be proud to advertise your affiliation with the Eastside Bloods with a few tats. Or maybe you want to make the guys on the street aware of your recently increased street cred with a poorly executed prison tattoo. If you’re starting your own business, you might want to consider things like an eyecatching logo, a clever slogan and of course, your personal style. Branding yourself is important, because if you don’t do it, others will do it for you, and no one wants to be a punk.
10. Watch your back.
Gangsters know that being aware of what’s going down around them will keep them from going down. They never know when a rival from the inside or out is going to make a move. The same goes for you. Regardless of how creative and intelligent you are, there is always someone who’d like a piece of your cornbread. Are you going to give it to them, or keep an eye out for their devious ways and maintain your position? Never get too comfortable or too relaxed, even if you are the only Mandarin speaking CSS programmer on staff.
The point is that, ultimately, you can learn from anyone. I can’t begin to describe what the kids I teach have taught me, although perhaps the most important thing has been keeping an open mind. Now that I’m back in the fray, don’t be surprised if my posts take on a bit of a different tone, because there is always some drama that alternately inspires and terrifies me.
Thank you everyone who commented on my last post. I really appreciated and took into consideration your ideas. You guys are simply the best.
Gee, I had no idea gang members were getting military training. Intense!
I always love the way you relate blogging to seemingly completely incompatible topics in a way that makes plenty of sense!
Sometimes… you crack me up.
Brilliant.
I would like to know how gangs make decisions. The community college I work for takes so long to make decisions and then there’s the meetings and discussions and reviews for implementing decisions. I bet the gangs have a more streamlined process.
Showing respect is a huge factor to me. Give it and you will receive it
[...] Think Like a Gangster: 10 Tips for Success - from Bloggrrl [...]
Wow. Fantastic analogy! Though I’m not sure if you’ve just inspired me to write a great post, or get out the Godfather DVDs…
This is a post that I’ll remember - great!!!
good analogy you got there. gang, business & humour. all in one great post. Anyway, did you read my “Contest Is King”? You got mentioned again as the “blogging girl”.
As a former alternative school student, can I just say Thank You for what you do? I would be a drop-out if it weren’t for that school and the very kewl teachers that worked there.
Great article, by the way…
This is an excellently unique way to look at an otherwise troublesome sector of society. I love how you’re looking to find good in something that is considered very bad.
I am curious why you would try to talk a gang member out of going to Iraq. Would you prefer he stay on the streets or do next to no good or defend his country? Perhaps I missed something here.
Oops typo. I meant to say, “stay on the steets and and do next to no good…”
@ Ron: It has to do with his not knowing where Iraq is, or what he would be fighting for. He is interested in killing people for the fun of it. Although perhaps the folks in my town would say that Iraq is a better place for that sort of thing than our streets, I hate to imagine the “skills” he has when he returns…have you read that article that I linked to?
I like this post. I don’t know much about gangsters but I know they have a code to living and this is a great way of applying it to all our lives.
@ Ron: One more thing. What explanation would you give this kid for the fighting in Iraq? What would you tell him we are fighting for, and how would he accomplish that goal?
[...] A blog I frequent is BlogGrrl, a blog authored by a school teacher. She recently wrote a post entitled “Think Like a Gangster: 10 Tips for Success” that listed and explained what types of skills you can learn from someone who runs a gang. [...]
Michelle,
I better understand your point now. If the kid doesn’t know where Iraq is and simply wants to improve his gangster killing ways I would agree with you on trying to talk him out of it.
Regarding why a young man or woman would want to serve his or her country… well let’s see… perhaps so people like you and me can be free.
Am I lead to believe your politics are a bit left of center?
@Ron: I’m an Independent, through and through. Tell me how my country being in Iraq gives me freedom? Serving our country and fellow man is good, but only if done in a well-thought out manner. Otherwise, it’s just words. Personally, I’m encouraging my son to join Americorps.
Michelle,
My cousin is on the front lines in Iraq and I thought about sending him and the 500+ soldiers under his watch a link to this post but I don’t want to discourage them or make them think that what they are doing is not for our freedom.
One thing I am sure of… even if he did know people like you thought his sacrifice (he is married with 3 kids) means nothing he would still stand on the line defending you so you can write about how worthless his efforts are as you blog about the fruitful life of being a ganster.
God help us.
Oh, be sure to check this video out for another perspective: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=vBflQLa75C8
Ron, you still haven’t told me how the Iraqi war gives me more freedom. Do you have an answer? With all the people dying over there, I certainly hope so.
My friend who just left for Iraq for the third time, leaving his wife, child, education and job behind (again) has asked for people to spread the word that the war is harmful to all involved and to lobby the politicians who are making these calls. He’d probably like to hear your explanation too. So would the moms I know who are worried about their sons and praying for their safe return, as well as my friend who is just sick with worry for her brother, who hates it over there.
I hope to God no more people are sacrificed for a crock of lies and propaganda, and I don’t care who you tell.
[...] Think Like A Gangster: 10 Tips for Success. [...]
Love this post. Reminds me of the crack heads analogy from Freakonomics.
Grrl! You are effin awesome! I love the profound wisdom in this posting. And, I love that you observed and witness what society sees as globally negative as really something that takes smarts (street smarts) and mad skills! I am not advocating gang violence here, but I understand the need to protect yourself or form protective clusters when nothing else seems viable as options in ‘your’ world.
I am so glad I found your blog! Thank you!
Adrienne Zurub
Author, ‘Notes From the MotherShip”
out November 2007
[...] Michelle has some tips for success, gangster style. [...]
What is Liberal Sensorship? When you cannot contribute to the discourse, kill the debate. Your blog is the poster child of liberal sensorship.
Terry
I am discouraged that a teacher would promote these ideas. One of the awful truths about gangs is they have a complete and total disrespect for authority and the rule of law. There is no remorse for the killings they commit, the lives they destroy and the fear they instill in communities. Are these traits that business should adopt? (ever heard of Enron?)
Are you wondering why we are in Iraq? Do you not see this as a war to guarantee your freedom?
Want to know why we are there? Oil. Yes oil, and it is a fight worthy of the sacrifice of our American heros who are guaranteeing your way of life. It is not a war to make the President’s buddies rich. It is a war to guarantee that oil will remain a marketable commodity. Without this our economy would become the play toy of a mean, despicable dictator who would relish in the act of crippling everything we cherish in our lives. As Vice President Chaney accurately put it, “our way of life is not negotiable.”
Want to know other reasons this war should be fought and won?
- Regardless of perceptions on the left, we are fighting terrorists. We would be fighting them regardless of the war in Iraq. The alternative, fighting them on our soil, is unacceptable.
- The last 3 US Republican presidents each have freed more people on this planet than the last 4 Democratic presidents combined. Why is it, when people are oppressed, the left screams out for relief, but when someone has the guts to do it, they scream even louder not to do it? Before last fall’s election the rant from the left was “make a change in Iraq”. After the election, when a change was announced, the cry was, “Oh, no, don’t change anything!!” Do you have an objection to liberating oppressed people?
- Without victory, (or under, in my opinion, a Democratic administration) we will become subservient to every tin horn dictator who decides to challenge us. Want to have Hugo Chavez tell us what to do? How about Kim Jung Il? Bashar al-Assad? Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?
- The loudest objections to the war are mainly from those who hate George Bush. Believe what you want to believe, but don’t give psychological aid and comfort to the enemy only out of spite for one man. By the way, this hatred makes the left the poster child for hate in this country. Besides, those who oppose the war have a simple plan – what ever George Bush is for, we are against, even if it results in terrible things to America and Americans.
- If you think we went to war for the wrong reasons, think of this. As of August 2007, there has not been one piece of evidence produced to prove the pre-war intelligence was WRONG. Yes, you read right, no one has shown the intelligence was wrong.
- Do you think the American death toll in Iraq is unacceptable? Here is another fact: During the Second World War, this country lost (deaths, not casualties) the current American soldier death count in Iraq every three weeks. I am sorry we cannot desensitize war to the flaming liberals, but the fast food business model is no way to run a war.
- Losing a war can wound the reputation of a country in a way that will cause it hardship and bloodshed for generations. This concept should require little explanation to anyone who witnessed the legacy of our defeat in Viet Nam. Following our ignominious “withdrawal” there, the world became more threatening for America, not less so. Neither did the end of the Vietnamese civil war “stabilize” Southeast Asia. The collapse of the South was rapidly followed by the collapse of Laos and Cambodia, in the latter case leading to one of most horrendous slaughters of civilians in World History. The example of these victories buoyed Maoist and Stalinist movements the World over for 20 years, and inspire our diverse enemies even today.
- Finally, if you claim to support our troops, but don’t support their mission, well guess what – YOU DON’T SUPPORT OUR TROOPS!
I recind my comment about this blog and censorship.
[...] doesn’t want us to emulate Donald Trump or Bill Gates. Instead, Michelle encourages you to think like a gangster. Show respect, represent yourself, and well, you’ve got to read her post to get all 10 [...]
holla to evry 1 who is readin dis. if u wanna get buckwild wit yo man well take ma advice stip hiiz clothes off …. edited at this point so I can keep my Adsense.