Just Another Writer

My World, My Opinion…

New Study Shows Blogging Causes Weight Gain August 29, 2007

Filed under: Life, Silly Stuff — Just another writer... @ 4:20 am

strawberry_pocky1.jpg

There’s a new study that just came out that shows that blogging causes significant weight gain. It was published just two minutes ago, in my head, and had a sample size of one. It demonstrated conclusively that one summer of blogging caused the participant to gain fifteen pounds.

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In this study, the participant utilized a laptop and wireless internet connection to create a blog. The participant spent most of the time on the sofa, often with strawberry Pocky nearby. Despite an average of one hour of swimming laps or walking per day, and the frenzied activity of phalanges typing posts into WordPress and passwords into social networking sites, the overall inactivity exhibited by the participant caused a metabolic decline of approximately three Pocky sticks per hour. The participant had this to say in her interview with the author of the study:

They say that your butt becomes ‘one with the couch’. I say that my butt became a couch.

The ethics of this study were questionable. The participant found that she had to buy a new wardrobe for work, which negated any earnings from her blog. She is also suffering from Pocky withdrawal, in addition to withdrawal from all other refined carbohydrates. She also has registered complaints about having to go to the gym during the busy period after work, which means that all of the treadmills with the television screens are taken, causing the participant to suffer from extreme boredom.

The implications of the study are twofold. First, bloggers must consider that for each hour spent online, caloric intake must be adjusted and brought into alignment with the caloric requirements of an individual who is in a state of REM sleep. Second, and perhaps most importantly, the ability to blog must become more easily integrated into activities that create a higher ratio of Pocky/lean muscle tissue.

This can be accomplished by implementing some of the following recommendations:

    1. Bloggers can utilize voice recognition software, thus enabling them to blog while driving, cleaning the house, and having sex. It is entirely possible that live sex blogging may create increased caloric burn while simultaneously creating more ad revenue.

    2. Blogging tools, such as a large monitor and ergonomic keyboard, should be widely available. Shopping carts are a good example of how blogging could authentically enter the public domain. This would also increase user satisfaction by giving bloggers the ability to blog in real-time about store specials or the inherent evil of Wal-mart.

    3. Bloggers should meet each other and have sex, which burns 150 calories per 14.9 minutes. The social aspect of blogging and weight gain should not be discounted. The participant found that her propensity to eat Pocky decreased directly in proportion to the distance of an attractive male. The participant noted that attractive males were a rarity in the vicinity of her couch, which perhaps accounted for some of the increase in adipose tissue.

The study was cut short by a period of three days, when upon weighing herself, the participant used her lower extremities to inflict blunt force trauma on the weighing device, causing its components to break into small pieces on a tile floor.

 

Difficult Coworkers: Coping When You Work With Mr. Sir August 28, 2007

Filed under: Life, Teaching — Just another writer... @ 3:28 am

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I work with Mr. Sir. Mr. Sir is vastly more difficult to behaviorally “manage” than all of the students put together. Friday, when Mr. Sir found out that I was going to be doing some after-school tutoring, he told me a story about his days on the oil fields, concluding with, “…and those hands what did extra for the boss, we called ’suckasses’”.

We were in an in-service at the time, and Mr. Sir had been telling his little story under his breath.

“So what are you trying to say there, Mr. Sir?” I said a bit too loudly. “Are you saying that that people who work harder are suckasses?”

I gave him my best cheesy grin. The other folks in the room glanced over, smiled, and chuckled. Mr. Sir and I have been at it ever since I accepted this position last year.

So what do you do when you work with those, um, difficult people? Here is a short list.

1. Maintain your sense of humor at all times.

I can honestly say that I get a kick out of yanking Mr. Sir’s chain. He started it, but that no longer matters. He now tries to get me back on a continual basis, but it never works because I think most things are funny and he doesn’t think anything is funny. Believe me, I have the upper hand here. Of course this aggravates him even more, because he can’t figure out why. But what’s he gonna do?

2. Focus on the positive.

Last year, one of the teacher’s aides became very angry at me. She was so mad that she was screaming, “I don’t care if you do have a Ph.D., I don’t have to do a damn thing that you say!”

Immediately after hearing the word “Ph.D.”, every word she said sounded like the teacher in the Charlie Brown specials…”Wa waa, wa waa wa waa…”

Cool! She thinks I have a Ph.D.! I got the props without doing the work!

3. Lift some weights.
and

4. Be creative.

Another strong personality we have at my school did not want the extra responsibility of working with a student known to have caused bodily injury to prior teachers. The student was fresh out of Texas Youth Corrections, and annoyingly, his probation officer was insisting that he come to school. This teacher, who has a military background, suggested that I do that bit of extra duty. I, being reasonable, didn’t want to.

So I put my elbow on the table and challenged her to a bit of arm wrestling. I proposed that the loser get to spend the time alone in the room tutoring the student. She, being as cocky as me, took me up on it. Now, I didn’t think for a second that I would win. I am no match for military training in arm wrestling. I just wasn’t going to go down without a fight. With my principal’s encouragement, we went for it. And I won! Now when I go to the gym, I am inspired to lift extra weights, because it wasn’t easy, and she is just waiting for a chance to get me good.

I do have to admit that this may have been a bad idea, though, since it is really the winner who would have had a better chance of defending themselves against an angry student if it came down to brass tacks. Fortunately, no one thought of that.

5. Be silly.

Ironically, this is the most serious suggestion that I have to offer. I work in an environment that has a very difficult time with employee retention, and that attracts people who have, shall we say, intense, personalities. And yeah, I’m one of them. The only way I have found to deal with this is by being a goof. You can “kill ‘em with kindness” all day, and I do, but when push comes to shove, silliness works every time. Walking around with a fake roach taped to the bodice of your shirt will take your coworkers’ minds off of their problems immediately, guaranteed.

You may be thinking, but what if I don’t work in an environment that encourages creativity and humor?

I am so sorry…

 

Creativity 101: 5 Ways You Can Make Your Blogging Groooovy August 26, 2007

Filed under: Metablogging — Just another writer... @ 2:52 am

Sitting around at home writing in your underwear is a pretty low-stress gig, but sometimes it can be too much of a good thing. Writing is a solitary pursuit, which can ironically leave you without the ideas that got you started writing in the first place. If you end up with severe brain drain, try one of these creative writing techniques to get your writing groove on.

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    1. Grab a trashy magazine and check out the headlines.

    There are great ideas both on the cover and inside. I like to use this “creativity exercise” as an excuse to grab a Maxim and check out whats going on in men’s heads. It scares me. I digress. At any rate, headlines such as How They Did It: Five Women Lose 100 Pounds in Five Months can be morphed into How They Did It: Five Bloggers Get 1000 RSS Subscribers in Record Time . If you’re the serious sort, instead of grabbing a trashy magazine, use The Economist.

    2. Play cards with yourself.

    Get three different colored markers and 15 index cards. Divide the index cards into three piles of five. On the first pile of index cards, write subjects from your niche. If you have a money blog, it might look like this:

    • Saving
    • Investing
    • Making $ Online
    • Frugality
    • Career Advice

    Then, using a different colored marker, write down five formats on the next five cards. For example:

    • List
    • Photo Essay
    • Long Informative
    • Link List
    • Review

    Finally, with the last marker and set of index cards, list some random things that come to your mind. You may want to add some more index cards at this point.

    • breeds of cats
    • personality types
    • musical instruments
    • fish
    • tools

    Now mix up the cards. You may end up with something like a list of ways to be frugal with illustrations of a Persian and alley cat next to one another. If you don’t like what you get, mix it up again. Eventually you’ll come up with something. Just don’t do what I did and include “underwear” in your last set of cards!

    By the way, if you like to play cards, consider winning the $50 in my Strip Poker Contest. It’s easy, but there is only a week left!

    3. Lie awake at night and stare at the ceiling.

    Eventually you will drift into a alpha state where you think of all sorts of odd ideas, some of which might even be good. Keep a notebook and pencil next to you, because, believe me, you are not going to remember this stuff when you wake up. In the morning, review what you have written. The ratio of nonsense to brilliance typically runs about 99:1, but that’s okay, because that one percent pays off. Good ways to induce insomnia include having a teenager, drinking coffee too late, contemplating the nature of consciousness and owning a cat who enjoys “making biscuits” on your head with its extremely sharp claws at two in the morning.

    4. Copy other bloggers.

    Look at the structure of articles you enjoy and duplicate it using your own content. This is how I got the idea for 11 Mistakes Your Blog Makes in Bed. Likewise, if you see some content out there that you can do better, go for it. You can put your own spin on anything. Ultimately, it is your voice and perspective that make your blog unique more than anything else.

    5.Read books.

    Make a habit of keeping some Post-it notes next to you whenever you are reading a book. Whenever you get to a passage that relates in some way to your blog, however vaguely, stick a Post-it on the page. You’ll find that a single well-written book can spawn a dozen posts. Don’t disregard fiction–you never know when you’ll run across a quote, story or character that will spark a completely unique post.

Subscribe. It’s fun to waste time on the Internet.

 

Money Isn’t Really the Currency of the Internet…Traffic Is August 22, 2007

Filed under: Metablogging — Just another writer... @ 2:06 am

Money isn’t really the currency of the internet… Traffic is.

The success of your website depends on a lot of things. In a general way, it depends on the topic you choose, your writing style and content, your personality, your monetization strategy, and even the design of your site. But all in all, the measuring stick you should use to gauge the success of your online business is simple… it’s your traffic.

Getting traffic to your site is one of the most important things you can do as a web-prenuer. I believe that it’s easy to make money on the internet, so long as your traffic is high. You can have a sub-par design, or mediocre navigation, or you can even be a terrible writer. But if enough people are interested in what you’re doing, and you’re actively driving subscribers and new visitors to your site every day, than it’s inevitable for the money to follow… to varying degrees, of course. There are always ways to tighten the screws and increase your conversions, but for new bloggers, the early and immediate focus should be on producing valuable content and finding ways to distribute it as far as it will go.

To be honest, I didn’t take this lesson to heart until recently. In the beginning, everything carried equal weight to me… writing, designing, struggling to learn things that I didn’t know about, and balancing my day job all sort of went hand in hand. But the key that I’ve learned is this:

Without traffic, your website is just words on a page, no matter how good your content, your design, or your personality are.

If you want to avoid feeling like a monkey on a typewriter, then you’ve got to be actively working at building traffic. The web is filled with ideas on how you can do this… I’ll share a few now.

  • Actively participate at other web sites- Comment on articles others have written. Contact your favorite blog authors and tell them you like what they do. Use forums and message boards to identify people who might be into your topic so you can invite them to visit.
  • Carry a “blogger” business card- You can find a way to work your web site into just about any conversation… do that, then the minute someone asks you a question, you can present your card to them while you answer it.
  • Submit your articles to popular sites- You might be tempted to hoard your articles for your own site, but sharing them with a site that has a much larger audience or readership than yours is actually a top-notch idea. Make sure you include mention that you wrote it and use a small, unobtrusive link back to your page.
  • Make syndication easy so that new visitors will subscribe- A great way to get me to never come to your site again is to make me look around for an RSS icon. It’s the standard on the internet… text links to your feed might get me there, but I’m the type of person who needs an RSS icon to smack me in the face so I can subscribe and come back later.
  • Link to other websites freely- They’ll probably return the favor. I’ve written about the way I name drop in a recent article on my site… for the most part, when you start sharing love with fellow bloggers, it makes them pay attention to you, and while you have their attention, they might visit your site themselves or link to you and encourage other people to visit.
  • Post new articles frequently- If you produce new content frequently, visitors will have to stop by frequently to keep up with you. Careful, though… your readers don’t like to feel like they’re falling behind, so don’t over do it.

As a rule of thumb, I’ve recently started making traffic my first priority, ahead of producing content… making that adjustment isn’t easy at first, but when you create the habit of not doing anything until you do something to drive traffic first, then you’ll see gains, and it becomes much easier at that point. And once your traffic is up, it should be easy to maintain… unless you’re a monkey on a typewriter!

This article was written by Chris Bloczynski, from Chris Bloczynski dot Com. Chris writes about lifestyle and entrepreneurship, with an emphasis on principles such as attitude, removing distractions, mentorship, and tactics for marketing and growth.

 

And the Number of Page Views Is… August 21, 2007

Filed under: Things You're No Longer Interested In — Just another writer... @ 12:17 pm

378!

page views

Bastet from Parenting Tales is the lucky (or psychic) winner of the 4-Hour Workweek. Just think of how much easier your life will be now that you only have to work four hours, Bastet! And you’ll have me, Bloggrrl, to thank for your new life on Easy St. :-)
If anyone wants to win the $50 Victoria’s Secret or Amazon gift certificate, the Strip Poker Contest is entering it’s final days, so hurry!

 

Guess The Number of Page Views Today and Win! August 20, 2007

Filed under: Things You're No Longer Interested In — Just another writer... @ 12:00 pm

I’m sure I’m not alone with experiencing highly variable traffic. I got thousands of page views for a couple of days after my Three Little Blogs post was linked to by several other bloggers, but usually my stats look more like this:

page views

Yesterday was better than usual. Thank you StumbleUpon people! I also accidentally submitted my own post to Reddit while I was jacking around with those buttons at the bottom of each page. I got about 50 page views from that little adventure.

So, what will Monday bring? Your guess is as good as mine! Leave your estimate in the comments, and the person who guesses the closest will win a copy of The 4-Hour Workweek. I’ll take a screenshot of my stats again on Tuesday, and you can see how close you came.

Happy Monday!

 

Sunday Spice August 18, 2007

Filed under: Love — Just another writer... @ 7:10 pm

web site promotion

I found something that those of you who love the link lovin’ will enjoy–an opportunity to get your blog featured on the Fechr Site, which is a brilliant idea that is executed very simply. I also happen to like the blog that goes with it. This is the brainchild of a teacher who has a fantastic sense of humor…:-) If you want to try it, here’s where to go and what to do to get featured for 24 hours for free.

purse contest
You’ve probably noticed that I don’t often enter contests, but I simply can’t resist this competition over at Confessions of a Housewife, and if you (or your SO) share my sense of style, you won’t be able to either. If I don’t win this, I will probably buy it anyway. I love it that much, and purchasing anything from 7 Loaves helps micro-business initiatives in developing countries. She gets props in my book for promoting this company along with her blog. Way to go!