I had every intention of writing my follow-up blog health post, Is Your Blog Anorexic, but insomnia struck again, and I got on a roll looking at men’s underwear. Now, before you go thinking I am a weird, pervy woman for looking at men’s junk stuffed into interesting decorative yet functional undergarments, let me tell you something. I was doing it for the blog. I promise. I won’t tell you why yet, but the mystery of why Bloggrrl was looking at men’s underwear on Amazon.com at 3:37 in the morning will be solved before two weeks are out. Then it will all make sense.
These underwear will make whoever discovers them at third base run screaming for the door. Sorta like this:
Save it for MySpace.
I learned that apparently, there is underwear that likes to style and profile. Yes, profile. That’s how they market this brief. It is a fine example of putting oneself out there, so to speak. Check out the unusual ads that Tim over at eMonitized has created. Getting attention is always good in the blogosphere, unless we are talking about the very, very bad kind.
This is the very, very bad kind. You see, it doesn’t matter how hot this guy’s body is, because he is never ever going to be able to show his face in public again after wearing a girdle in a serious manner. Was that underwear photo shoot really worth the $200? Dude, I sure hope so! If you are doing something extraordinarily atrocious on your blog to make money, such as advertising unethical services, then people will never, ever want to look at your blog again. Rhys at The Gospel According to Rhys knows what I’m talking about. Read the bit about “War Ass”.
It is easy to understand why this guy would not want to show his face. Some things are simply incomprehensible. Is your blog one of them? There can be a difference between being an expert and being someone who can explain things to others. Some web experts are so smart that I can’t count as high as their IQ’s, but what they write about does not make sense except to other experts. And if other experts are the only ones who can understand it, then what is the point, really?
On the opposite side of the spectrum from the expert lies the person who lets it all hang out. This blogger happily shares his digestive troubles, difficulty losing weight and who won the farting contest between he and his wife last night. This is fine, and can make for entertaining reading, but this person will rarely be perceived as an expert.
These are George Foreman briefs. I’ll tell ya, I have learned a lot tonight. Who knew? I figure that these underwear must be meant as a weight-loss incentive, implying that the wearer can become the The Lean Mean Fat-Reducing Machine. Now, any blog that is a lean, mean, fat-reducing machine is going to be good. First of all, anything that implies fat reduction in today’s McDonald blubber-clad society is going to draw in tons of visitors. And then there is the part about being lean and mean. This blog won’t be cluttered. It will have great information conveyed in a clear, concise manner. Absolutely no nonsense.
You have the pink blog. I’m somewhat guilty of this. I’ve been told that the color pink will drive off male visitors, but as this picture clearly shows, men can be quite comfortable with the color pink! If I ever get tired of you guys hanging around, I will consider putting up a flowery background with some Hello Kitties thrown in for good measure, though.
It may not help you in the romance department, but jokes will help you in the blog department. Apparently, I Can Has Cheeseburger gets 15 million page views a month and earns $5,600 in that same time period. With posts like the one today, I’d say they’ve earned every penny of it.
Apparently, no real person was harmed in the creation of this ad.
If your blog is like this, then you’re good. Geeks are in style now. However, I’d guess that this sort of thing works better on the blog than in the bedroom. Just saying.
I really don’t know what to think about these, other than if I encountered them in real life I would be unable to refrain from laughing hysterically until I wheezed. Transparency is generally good in the blog world, just as long as there isn’t too much of it, you know? Don’t review products that you know nothing about just so you can insert affiliate code and hope to make a few bucks off of some dude shopping for a new car stereo. That is not slick, it’s slithery. Weblog Tools Collection has a good article on this topic. On the other hand, it is not good form to post pictures of your stuff on the Internet, especially if it is unexpected. That’s when transparency has went too far.
Why doesn’t the guy wearing these have that pumped up six-pack? Be honest. Is this your blog? Is it wearing that boring and not-cool-nerdy blue business look with nothing to spice it up even a little bit? Do you write exclusively about mutual funds? Did you know that the best selling underwear on Amazon is tighty-whities? Why? Why??????
After I got over the shock, I was delighted to realize that men also wonder if their butts look good in their jeans. Do they really? This is wild. So do you pad your blog? Padding it with content is good, while padding it with gazillions of ads and other visual clutter is not. Take a look at this blog. Pretty clean design, and it’s still making over 6K a month.
Aw…this guy even looks embarrassed! They should have distracted him or something. These briefs have the unfortunate name of “Balls in One Erector”. I’m trying to think of some way that this could apply to a blog, but I’m laughing too hard. Perhaps you’d like to give it a try.
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Information Improvisation
Homes must be designed in a way that there is proper space and place for everything to give it a well maintained look and elegance in the way of life. The bathroom cabinet must be built away from the shower to prevent it from rusting. The kitchen drawer slides must be well lubricated for smooth functioning and extra storage boxes space must be made for convenience in living. Different materials and eatables can be stored inside homes using different techniques which are available on the internet on home storage research page. Homes made in severe climatic zones also install energy storage cabins to preserve energy.
hi! I love your blog and added you to the Technorati Fave Train. Do read about it here. [Link]
lol!!!!! Thats amazing Grrl! I’m clicking some more of your links. And I wanted to thankyou for the wonderful dreamhost referral word thing. I haven’t actually tried it yet, but I think I will as soon as I tinker a domain name together. I really wanted entheogenesis.org, but alas, someone has nabbed. I just started stalking the lolcats scene this week. It totally makes my existence. Happy day Grrl. I’ll see you tomorrow =)
oooh, i’m weird - i’m kinda feeling turned on & off at the same time in-b/w hiccups of laughter - must be the gemini in me - that’s my excuse - and i’m sticking to it - damn it - grrrrr….
another great blog entry.
ta!
Thank you for permanently burning images of bulging crotches into my mind.
Probably the most….unique….backlink I have ever recieved. Thank you!
However, there’s far too many men. I demand bikini clad babes.
In the interest’s of equality, that’s all
Oh, and you have directly influenced my next post, largely the points on transparency. There are a few affiliate links in there, I’m rewriting it to become transparent. Thanks Bloggrrl!
I’ve never made underwear and blog comparisons– that is, until I read this post! And hey… why not women’s underwear?
Hmmm, kinda wish I hadn’t opened this up at the coffee shop.
“What are you staring at?!?!”
You know.
Sometimes I think, “Oh, I’m so much more grown-up and worldly than I used to be.”
And then I come face to crotch with the reality of life as a blusher.
I blushed about seventy five thousand times at this post. And it’s not that I am unacquainted with male underwear, or male, um, anatomy.
I may blush in the worst way, but I only once had the impulse to lick someone’s flat stomach.
Um, what were we talking about again?
As a non-gay male, I had difficulty reading this post. In fact I only read a few sentences. What I do know is my blog is the one with the gross skid marks on the inside.
ok michelle, enough of the metaphors already. so u were lucky with the “three little pigs”. that was a creative post and worth reading. but now you’re just being ridiculous. u have gone way toooooo far with this comparing crap. please stop. and right when i thought u were almost kool. damn girl, stop that, please think of something else, sh$t i’ll pay u. thxs.
[...] Sometimes, what we think are clever posts should sit in the draft stage for a while before we press that “Publish” button. My last post, Bloggrrl’s Essential Guide To Men’s Underwear would be an example of one of those posts. Here are the reasons why I think it should have stayed in WordPress purgatory: 1. It was not gender neutral. One of the things I did not consider when starting this blog was demographics. I figured it would be the same as in my personal life–whoever likes it, likes it. Whoever doesn’t, doesn’t. Whatever. Of course, in my personal life I tend not to snicker over pictures of hilarious men’s underwear with my male friends. They just don’t seem to be that into it, for some reason. 2. It was not safe for work. I didn’t think about someone opening this up at work and cruising around while sitting at a desk that a boss might walk by. That is an important thing to consider, because many people are reading blogs at work, at least during their lunch hour. And as Joe at FourBux nicely pointed out, people often surf in public places. While the casual observer cannot tell if you are reading about risque men’s underwear, they can certainly tell if you are looking at it. Yikes. I should have named the post, NSFW: Straight Men Beware if I was going to write it at all. [...]
I never knew so much about men’s undies until I came here. I feel enlightened now.
hmm… think I’ll stick to my boxers. I not that well endowed.
“Aw…this guy even looks embarrassed! …” How does this apply to a blog?
Perhaps it is a lesson that the most prominent part of your blog should not be how you make your money.
Fantastic post!! I am going to try the Elephent Underwear idea and see how my girlfriend reacts to it…
Hey Bloggrrl, I like your underwear post. But I can see why it is a bad idea, most of the blog readers are men who may not want to look at these pics. I really enjoy your writing stlye and have picked up a few pointers from you. As far as over useing the metaphor, right now while your on a roll just create some drafts. Then create some more serious posts and then sprinkle in the creative metaphor posts as needed. Thanks again for all of your hard work, keep it up. Emma
Despite some of the seemingly negative comments about this post, I bet it will be generating a disturbing amount of search traffic in the coming months. I wouldn’t be surprised if this ends up being one of the best converting pages on the site.
The Cat is speechless. I, on the other hand, completely believe that Bloggrrl was doing it for the blog. At 3:37 in the morning. On Amazon. True, it isn’t particularly gender-neutral or workplace-safe. But it certainly got a tsunami of attention. I’d bet you wouldn’t have achieved that by comparing blogs to breakfast cereals. Hm.. or cat food.. or pickles… or…. (*scurries off to write since The Cat is still speechless*).
I love this post of yours….. hehehe ;p
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